By R. Sebastian Bennett

All rights reserved.

Top secret
… Did you see the casket?

He was nothing less than the greatest entertainer who ever graced this planet.

Could you see inside the casket? See the nose? Over.

Roger. I could see the nose. ROTUS is confirming Jacko’s nose is an exact replica of Brooke Shield’s nose, proportionally and dimensionally. Satellite 4 is monitoring Brooke at south complex. High moisture. Field-Vid Channel 12-G. NIMA imaging. Over.

Did you see the male-stem? Could you see it inside the casket?

–You’re breaking up. ROTUS indicated probable infrared interference due to ozone levels. Over.

Roger. Switching to channel seven-niner. Over.

Seven-niner roger.

Seven-niner confirmed. Did you see the penis? Over.

Roger that. Negative. Partial viewing only, face to umbilicus. No exposure or lump indication. Over.

How close did you get to the casket? What is its material? Is there a glass or Plexiglas covering?

Roger. Golden. Powerful gold color. Low-odor. Appears to be wood. Possible laminate. Minor curvature with low sheen. Bullet-proof Plexiglas. Over.

Seven-Niner requesting RAPISCAN foci at 1111 South Figueroa. South quadrant. Aperture target gold. Troughing laminate. Possible UV sheen. Limited sheathing. Over.

Roger. Target delay twenty-four seconds… There. It’s in.

How’s the image report? Over.

Negative. Dead tissue–genital summary unavailable. Cranial summary unavailable–brain removed by L.A. coroner for further examination. Frontal lobe in transit to Sony Music Entertainment, Tokyo. Brain ownership is disputed.

There be nothin’ strange about yo daddy. It’s just human nature.

Could you see the face? Over.

Roger that. Affirmative.

What was the skin tone? Any evidence of laser striations or white creaming? Over.

Skin-tone: chalky vinyl. Jane-12 located a white ointment in port-a-toilet 14 in northeast corner. Canines were requested for olfactory determination. ROTUS indicated low local canine presence due to mucal membrane deteriorations. Over.

He could ride that Double-Dutch bus all night long.

Roger. Get Ziggy. I love Ziggy. I’ve known Ziggy from Rampart K-9 since ’03. Get Ziggy. Over.

Roger that. Calling Rampart.


Yah. No. Yah. Yah. Over.

When will Ziggy get here? I’m gonna buy him a snack. Over.

Ziggy’s dead. Over.


Roger that. Ziggy is dead. Sorry. Over.

What? What happened? [Muffled sound of sobs.]

Mi-chael. Mi-chael. Mi-chael. Heal the world…

Rampart dispatch stated that Ziggy was in training for meth-amph tracking. Severe lab damage to nasal passages, snout, and anal region. Terminal injection on 12.01.08 at zero six hundred hours. Over.

[Muffled sound of sobs] [Snorting]

Fuck-shit I loved that dog…

I know I–

–This is a recorded warning from ROTUS South. In accordance with Reb. 6 section A, all transmissions are monitored. This computer monitoring is a function of voice and syntactic-lexiconal recognition. NAM-COM sensors have reported profanity on channel seven-niner. Operatives are requested to utilize Latinate, Dutch, or biological descriptors for all humanoid functions. The previous utterance will be replaced by “Fikken-bowel movement”. This portion of the transmission will be re-issued. After 12 days, original transcripts will be erased from local area networks. Operatives are requested to refrain from all use of profanity in accordance with NICE-TAK regulations, revision 68-9.

…[Muffled sound of sobs.] [Snorting]

Fikken-Bowel Movement. I loved that dog…

I know I–

Ever since I was a suckling infant at 5.427 libs, Daddy has been the best father you could ever imagine.

Turn down the external monitors. There’s excessive interference from speakers at the wake. Over.

Roger that. NIMA mapping has located the central microphone. Heat-imagery has articulated individuals making pronouncements. Muting had been requested for all memorial utterances from such, e.g. Janet Jackson, LaToya Jackson, Jermaine Jackson and Prince-Michael Jackson. Over.

And I just wanted to say I love him–so much.

What the hell? NIMA muting is malfunctioning. Over.

Roger that. Verifying. All muting full-functional. Over.

What’s causing the post-muting interferences?

Roger. Verifying… That’s odd. Heat imagery data is null for speaker Paris-Michael Jackson.

Who’s that? Over.

Paris-Michael Jackson is Jacko’s child with nurse Debbie Rowe. AKA ROTUS-termed “Rowe-child 2”.

Roger that. But I thought the doctor did her up. Over.

That’s classified level nine-niner. NIMA imaging is depicting a pale-skinned youth. No evidence of laser striations or creaming. Golden locks, non-afro.

I remember the time, when we used to talk, and the porridge was just right.

Why can’t we mute him? Over.

Roger that. Still checking. Heat censor data available in 6 seconds… You’re not going to believe this. Over. What?

Paris-Michael has no heat profile. Over.

What do you mean? It’s being blocked. Maybe they gave him something to drink that cloaked the imagery. The Jesus-juice. Or he’s been irradiated. What are the radiation levels from the hyperbaric chambers? Jane-6 reported they make the kids sleep in chambers to protect them from Joe-Jay. Over.

Roger. Verifying radiation fallout overlay from hyperbaric use via ROTUS. Still checking… Results-negative. Enhanced oxygen pressures have identical radiological levels to normobaric pressures. Over.

What about the Jesus-juice? What’s in that juice? Over.

It’s wine. It’s just wine. He made the kids drink it. Then they went to sleep. But that was only at Neverland Los Olivos, according to testimony. Over.

What about the clock? Plaintiff 6 talked about the “old-glow” clock. Was a radium portrait obtained? Over.

Hold on. I’m receiving current RAPISCAN data. It’s full-on accurate for live subjects. Identical covert systems are in place at LAX security and O’Hare. Beta testing is complete. Over.


They’re taking bets on whose are real.


RAPISCAN shows whose are real. It can see the embedded saline and silicon implant sacks in the chest. I only bet once, and I won a free Big-Mac.

What do you mean? Over.

Drew Barrymore’s are real–I could tell that before, because of the droop. But Holly Madison’s are fake. Silicone generation three.

No shit, no shingles… What about Megan Fox? Over.

No imagery yet. Pools in place. Are you in?


Free Sizzler steaks if you win.

What about Miley Cyrus? Over.

Roger that but, but she’s a minor.

Okay–I’m down for real on Megan. Hah. ROTUS has me in pidgin training for an Obama-Hawaii assignment. Check it: “Betty gots mean choke bo-bos fo’ reals brah.”

You go, girl. Over.

Roger that. I’m hungry now. Does van 5 still have protein bars? Over.


Roger that. I’m hungry. There’s no food here. What would Jesus do?

Hold-on. I’m getting RAPISCANS on Paris-Michael. Over.

What do they show?

No fucking way…


My God. Holy God…

What? What is it?

[Sound of heavy breathing] [Coughing]

What? What is it? Nick-12 to Nick-7! Over.

You’re not going to believe this. Over.

What? Jesus, what?

Paris-Michael is non-humanoid.

What? What do you mean?

RAPISCAN imagery depicts full robotic structures, cerebral microprocessor, titanium- differentiated spine, silicone casing, salinite pools in tear ducts and tonsillar membranes.


Paris-Michael is a robot.

Are you certain? Does he have a male-stem? Over.

Paris-Michael is female.

Does it have a vulva or a cloaca? Over.


Roger that. Is there any orifice?

Affirmative. Charge-port, left flank, 220 volt. Over.

What is it saying? Who’s speaking now? Over.

Roger that. Requested muting cessation in three seconds. Over.

MJ’s laugh was the sweetest and purest laugh of anybody I had ever known.

Is that the android? Over.

Negative. Brooke Shields. Over.

Are Brooke’s real?

Dunno. But sensors indicate high moisture levels.

In Brooke?

Negative. Hip-hop star, Usher–ROTUS-termed “Cameo-1.” Artificial ocular saline implants, left and right ears. Limited facial mobility.

Whether we knew who he was or what he was, he was ours.

Jane-9 is calling in with a question. Hi, Jane. You’re on a ROTUS-monitored channel. What’s your question? Over.

Thank you for taking my call, Nick-7. I’ve been wondering, what were the average veracity coefficients and veracity correlations among plaintiffs three through seven concerning the length and appearance of Jacko’s male-stem?

Roger that. Coefficients were point eight two. And correlations were eighty-two percent. Over.

In death, they become even larger.

[Obama-POTUS statement, via Moscow/MARASAT II B –
broadcast 15:47:13 Greenwich]


R. Sebastian Bennett works for the government.

This story is included in issue #44: DV8. Copyright © 2011 by Fiction International. Authors of individual works retain copyright, with the restriction that subsequent publication of any text be accompanied by notice of prior publication in Fiction International. Please contact the editor for reprinting information.

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